Just before Christmas my Mum told me that I needed to stop being so miserable.
It was the month of mince pies, Quality Street and held the guarantee of new perfume come Christmas Day. It’s the best month EVER. I was a bit taken aback by this comment, I’l admit.
Why was I so miserable? How could I stop?
I pondered and identified my job as being the main cause. My mojo for the role got lost somewhere in the year and I was just following the motions and looking forward to payday like many, many other people do.
But did I have to do this? Not really. I’d busted my ass off at school, college and then night school to make sure I had the groundings for a good career yet at 25 I was still ultimately being the brewer uperer.
Whilst I’ll be first to admit that a good brew is the foundations for a good day, it would be damn nice to have one made by someone else now and again.
My battle with teabags wasn’t the cause of my unhappiness but it seemed to be a definitive point for me that despite all my hard work, efforts and determination – I was still at the bottom of the ladder. The point of a ladder was to climb but I seem to have lost sight of climbing and set up camp on the bottom rung.
No no.
I had dreams!
When I was 14, my Mum bought me a key chain. I’m not sure if this was because I used to loose my keys a lot or because I wanted one. It was actually the closest I ever got to a goth phase though, so it seems like a pivotal moment.
Anyway, back to the point. I used to swing this key chain about and walk like I was going to punch someone or more politely, with “ten to two” feet. Someone made a joke that I would make a cracking prison officer and this was something I took quite literal as 11 years on, this was still my ultimate career goal.
I went for the job of a prison officer when I was 18 years old but failed on one of the exams at the final stage. I was crushed but looking back I can appreciate that I was too young and would have probably been scarred for life.
In November last year the opportunity came up to apply again. I applied, took my exams, passed and got invited down to London to the assessment day. I was over the moon, there was light at the end of the tunnel and my dreams were in reach. I was owning this.
I booked my train tickets and hotel and got all set.
I then decided to do some research online to see what the current situations were in Her Majesties residences and see if I could find anyone in the same position as me.
What I found out was not what I expected. What I always visioned to be my dream job was suddenly a sham. I couldn’t find anything good and the long term prospects of the job were neither promising or secure.
I can only liken the feeling to that I felt when my parents finally revealed that they were actually behind the eating of the mince pie and the leaving of presents on the 25th December.
I discussed my findings with my family and close friends and got their advice and I made my decision to withdraw my application.
This was very difficult for me to do. Suddenly my goal in life had gone and I wasn’t quite sure where to turn next.
Ideas went through my head from wanting to own my own coffee shop to being a PA. I had no idea what my new long term plan was. I just resolved that if I wasn’t applying to the prison service, I needed to put some serious effort into finding myself a new passion.
I started job hunting. I wasn’t sure what I was looking for but I’ve always said that I would know when I saw it. That turned out to be very true.
Scouring the local job sites I saw an advert for a job that was simply titled “People Person”.
I am a person, I like people, people generally like me. I liked where this was going.
I was intrigued. It was in a field I had interest in and with a company that I really liked the sound of and a company that sounded like they were going places and I also wanted to go places. It was perfect. Ironically, I also ended up interviewing for this job on the same day I was supposed to be travelling down to London to take my assessments.
Long story short, I got the job!
I’m very happy about it and can confidently say that long term it has a lot of potential and really seems like something that is very me and is a job where I can be myself – which is surprisingly hard to find.
I said that 2014 was the year to get shit done and I think this move means about 85% of that is done. It’s huge and it’s exciting and I can’t wait to see what challenges it brings and how much my life changes. Because whilst you think it’s just work, it really isn’t. You spend more time with your colleagues than your friends or family over the duration of the week and you spend a lot of time sat at that desk and if you’re not enjoying it, then it will effect you a lot more than you realise.
It took my Mum calling me a miserable bitch to finally realise how much my situation was getting me down and it should have never got that far.
So now it’s time to work on the other 15% of my “Getting Shit Done” plan.
Size 12 jeans maybe?
Watch this space.
High Heels and Healthy Meals 