Summer summer summer tiiiiiime

Oh don’t tell me you didn’t sing that too. 

Stop singing now, it’s time to focus and read. 

No, really. 

It’s impossible not to feel a little jazzy with this weather. It makes EVERYTHING seem better and I’m happy to report the biggest trauma I’ve had lately has been discovering my chocolate has melted in the car. There was certainly nothing teasing about those malteasers, it was more maltblob…actually I kinda know how they feel… 

But the weather does make me pretty happy and has me galloping into town for my lunch feeling like this:

My last blog posts have been pretty heavy to not only write and make public, but probably to read too. It’s not really normal for me to put myself out there in a negative light as I do like my reputation as the funny one but shit happens.

Clearly, I’m still funny though. 

I read a quote the other day that said “Sometimes all it takes is one person to see your wings for you to be able to fly” and that feels like it accurately sums up the last six months for me. 

I’ve taken a hell of a lot of chances and people have taken a chance on me and they’ve worked out for the best which is great because that finally means I can cheer the fuck up and write a happy blog! 

My book has finally started to take shape and I have finally let someone read what I’ve put together so far which has suddenly made it more real. The feedback I got was good and whilst it still needs fluffing up and at least another 20 chapters writing, it’s actually happening. 

Look!

Now I just need to finish it, get a book deal and live happily ever after. 

Dream big, right?

I have had a few people asking me what the characters secret is and many of you seem to be under the impression that Eva is a catfish. Which is good news for me because as a writer (do I qualify to use that title?!) that means I’ll have the upper hand on the story.

I’ve been back on my diet for almost a month now and it was hard to begin with. I has having Subway shakes and chocolate withdrawals but I made it through and have so far lost a stone.

I’m in a different zone with it this time in the sense that it’s not actually a big deal. It’s just happening rather than consuming my life like previous attempts have. I post about it on my instagram account quite a bit but that’s as far as its presence goes.

At the end of the day, I know I need to do something about my weight and I am so I don’t really need to share it with everyone who I went to school with who probably don’t give a shit.

Whereas sharing it on my instagram and blog it’s targeting those in a similar position and who have an interest in me. Gosh, that sounded a bit self important.  

I’ve always felt like I needed validation before in many aspects of life and whilst we all love to get praise, sometimes it’s nice just knowing you yourself is totally owning it and just enjoying the ride.

Today I had my first moment of feeling slim. My work pants have gone baggy around the waist which is amazing progress and I don’t feel like I’m pregnant with octuplets when I either sit down or indeed look down at my belly. Now I just have my boobs with my feet peaking out instead of moment like this:

 

It was my birthday yesterday and I’m now 26 years old which seems like a frighteningly grown up age for someone who still isn’t sure how long you need to boil eggs for, and don’t even get me started on poached egg fuckery. You must be a wizard if you can do that vortex-vinegar-slide-it-in-thing and make a good one. 

I ate a lot yesterday, cake cake CAAAAKE but I didn’t feel bad about it and actually just got right back on track with todays food and didn’t even cave into a foot long (cheeky) at Subway and trotted back to work with my salad like I’d just won us a Gold at the Commonwealth. 

I also attended my first Zumba class this week which was a good laugh and pretty awesome. In terms of a work out I’m not entirely convinced of it’s benefits but given you don’t stop shaking what your mamma gave you for 45 minutes, it has to do something. 

I’m the most uncoordinated person in the world and have as much grace as an elephant in tutu but Zumba is actually quiet easy to master, she says, I’m probably not very good at it but I had fun and that’s what’s important. 

 

My birthday was actually pretty great though, spent the day in work which isn’t too bad when you actually enjoy being there and then I went out for a meal with my parents which is always nice. We live together but it’s rare we actually get to go out together and do stuff so I was a happy bunny.

I’m off to the Doctors tomorrow to get the results of my previously mentioned tests so that’ll be good to try and find out what’s going on and hopefully get on the road to not feeling like shite. I do have to say though that since losing the weight a lot of my symptoms have dramatically reduced and in turn given me a lot of hope for the future. Although my broodiness has evaporated and I’m no longer massively keen for babies any time soon, I’ve decided I’ll know when I’m ready when a baby holds the same level of cuteness as baby Oleg.

Look at that face!!

Plus, my Mum and Dad were also 26 when they had me and it blows my mind to think that they were fully responsible for the care of another life.

Don't get me wrong, they clearly did a fantastic job, but I walked around town the other day cradling 4 pairs of shoes that I had no intention of buying but I just liked them and got attached. I don't think my levels of responsibility are quite up to scratch just yet…